Love in a Bundle

A sudden impact of a small body
Hits me on the side
Hands scrambling for purchase
As feet aid the climb
Finally laying tummy to tummy
Curled up close and tight
He curls his arms underneath him
And my heart fills with joy inside.

The Potters' Hands

Ever felt crushed by the world around you? I know I have. There have been times I have felt completely annihilated to the point it hurt to breathe. I know we have all been there at one time or another, whether its through the loss of loved ones, loss of jobs and financial struggles, or just the battle of making it through the day without drama, depression, or sometimes even a substance crutch. In one way or another, we have felt crushed. 

Today, my heart was lead to read Jeremiah 18:4 

"But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, 

so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over." NLT

God is the potter. He is the only one who can allow the world around us to crush us. When He allows such things, it's to make us a better vessel. On March 2, 1998, after my grandmother's passing, I felt as though my heart was crushed entirely, my lungs unable to take full breaths, and my mind unable to even process a single thought. For a little over a year, I made bad decisions one after another. I threw away values and morals I had upheld for years as if they no longer mattered. Worse of all, I turned away from God in my time of pain, refusing to allow Him to help me and spurning those who would dare suggest I do otherwise. 


When I finally started to turn my life back around, I still continued to be apathetic towards God. I was not purposely turning my back against Him, I just was not running towards Him either. Still, He continued to be with me. I have always known that. I knew that the entire time I lived in my crushed state. When I finally started praying again, and asking for His hand to be in my life, my entire world changed. I no longer felt crushed. I no longer struggled with my shame over the mistakes I made after my grandmother's passing. I began to take shape into a new vessel. A better vessel. 


I am not by any means perfect. I know God is continually working on me to become an better vessel tomorrow than I am today. He will always be working on me. I know I will be crushed at times. I also know He knows what is best for me, and will always have His hands around me to help keep me malleable, stable, and protected. 

"But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed 

say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’” Does not the 

potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for 

special purposes and some for common use?" 

Romans 9:20-21 NLT

A Baby Changes Everything

Rob and I are expecting our second child. We're due July 31, 2011. We were not trying to have another baby, we were still on a birth control pill that I had just learned was no longer considered effective in me, and quite frankly, I was hoping to wait another 2 or 3 years before having another child. God's plans are always perfect and better than our own, though sometimes it can be hard for us to see. This is why God says not to lean on our understanding, that His thoughts are so much higher than ours. 

For instance, who would have thought that a virgin mother could give birth to such a small baby that would save us all? God knew. He planned, and sent His son to be born and to die for us. A small child, born of the virgin Mary, raised by her and Joseph. A child that would grow up to be our Saviour. How amazing, a little baby born to save our whole world. A baby that changed everything. 

My child is not my Saviour, but he/she is a special part of my life that is going to change everything. I pray that his/her future includes a tight hold onto God's promises and His son that He sent to us, just like I pray my future always includes the same thing. 

Door Keeper To The Lord's House

Amazing how something as simple as holding the door open for people can adjust your outlook. As I spent 45 minutes opening the door for people coming to watch our church's Christmas program, I had so many people show me the true meaning of kindness. There were men who kept trying to hold the door for me, proving there are still gentlemen in the world. Women who would say the kindest words about how gorgeous I looked and how sweet I was. I needed those words when I was feeling nauseous, standing in 30 degree weather with the wind blowing like crazy! And then there was the best words that I kept hearing over and over, different versions of the verse about being a door keeper in the Lord's house. When I arrived home, I promptly looked up the verse they were telling me about. 

"Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; 

I would rather be a door keeper in the house of my God 

than dwell in the tents of the wicked." Psalm 84:10 

After reading that, all I could think is wow, how awesome that God gave me the privilege to do such an awesome job. To be a servant at His house. Each time someone would quote that verse to me, in so many different variations, I just kept thinking that it is so true. There is no where I would rather be than at the door of God's house, letting His people in. 

Christmas Time

A simple trip to Shreveport Target for laundry detergent, how can that possibly go wrong? I notice how the air is lacking the scent of pine that hung over our small town when I was growing up. Parking is atrocious. Target is crowded with rude people in a hurry. I don't hear jingle bells ringing, all I hear are kids around me screaming. Finally, after checking out, trudging across a damp parking lot to the truck, and getting everything loaded, I head to Chick-Fil-A to grab dinner for the family. The drive through line is wrapped around the building. My son is screaming in the back seat because he's starving. Dinner for him is CFA nuggets broken up and handed back as I maneuver Youree Drive. Drivers all around are not paying attention - pulling out in front of me, slamming on their brakes because they finally spotted the entrance to the shopping center they were looking for, and just failing to pay attention overall. When did Christmas become so tedious? Better question, when did I allow Christmas to become so tedious? 


I remember when Christmas was fun. The excitement of shopping for the perfect present. The feeling of peace and joy all around. When did I allow myself to feel any other way about Christmas? And when did I stop making the reason for the season the center of my Christmas? It started slowly. A gathering here. Another present there. Pretty soon I'm concentrating on cooking, wrapping, gatherings, cards, pictures, and everything else except the one who started it all. 


My prayer for myself and everyone else is this: May we all put Jesus in the center of our Christmas and all of our days. May we know that without His birth, Christmas would not exist. And without His death, salvation and eternity would not be ours. 



   So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. 
   And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
   Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
   “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”
   So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.
   On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise the child, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he was conceived.

Luke 2:4-21

Everything Changes

We hear the same phrase over and over again. Nothing ever stays the same. Yet when it happens to you, it's almost surreal. A crash of metal against metal. A house full of memories ablaze with fire. A sudden loss of a business in times of economic turmoil. Bankruptcy. Pregnancy. Marriage. Divorce. Graduation. So many events in a person's life, big and small. Just when you get used to the way life is, everything changes. Amazing, isn't it? How many times do we look back to the way things used to be, wishing for days gone by? 


Jesus told us, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." Luke 9:62 In order to be used for God's glory, we have to look forward. It's amazing how hard that can be. I am always looking back to the days before I was _______, or when we had _________. There are days where I spend every moment reflecting on my past, when in fact I need to be in the present looking towards my future so that I may of use in God's kingdom. 


So tonight I look towards my future, full of hope and faith, knowing that God is always there. 


"Learn from yesterday, Live for today, Hope for tomorrow" Albert Einstein

Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving! We do Thanksgiving at a minimum of two different family's homes every year. This year, I even cooked at our house with the hopes of a few friends stopping in. We had lots of wonderful food. Turkey (of course), ham, casseroles galore, deviled eggs, and lots of yummy desserts! This year I tried a new recipe for sweet potato cupcakes with cream cheese icing. Loved them!

Thanksgiving day Alex got to explore the country side down in Coushatta area. He so loves to run free and wild. He rode a horse for the first time. He grinned and laughed so much. Then later when he was on a play horse, he bounced up and down on it as if going 'giddy up'. He had so much fun.