Light of the World

The second morning of delivering food bags for our team was vastly different than the first. There was no steep hill making us all question our fitness levels and ability to breathe. Stories from the families we visited were a bit more uplifting though still had moments of hardship. Homes were a bit more put together with some even having concrete floors. One home was particularly inspirational. I could say it was because of the pride the young woman had in her husband's craftsmanship of their new home extension moving her from her in-laws home to right behind it in their own area. Or I could say it was the giggling kids that three of our team members got caught up in playing with giggles of their own. But really the most uplifting and biggest blessing was a wall area written on by one of her sons. The afternoon before our visit to this home we had our first VBS session. The lesson was on Jesus being the light of the world and how we can share His light with those around us. The Bible verse was John 8:12 where Jesus says "I am the light of the world. Anyone who follows Me will never walk in the darkness but will have the light of life." And there on the wall, written in Spanish was a message about the eternal light illuminating the world. Now whether he wrote this before or after attending VBS I am not sure but what we saw was evidence of God moving in the hearts of those we were loving on and that was inspiring to us. 

After delivering four food bags and a water filtration system to families, things were relaxed as our teams conversed, relaxed and reflected upon our morning. Entering the gate comes a young man who is introduced as being the grandson of one of our deliveries. He hugs us all upon arrival and very happy to just converse hang out with us. 

Then the conversation gets heavy. He imparts so many worries he has on his 17 year old heart. Worries for his future. Worries for his family. Worries over a friend. So much heaviness. Emotions run high and support is given in the form of large hugs and major prayers. It was a hard thing to witness, a heaviness on such a young soul and knowing the only thing we could bring to comfort was prayer. 

But God was there in that moment. God knew who would be there. God knew there would be support for that young man. God knew and still knows exactly what he needs. Because God is in the pain and worries. He's whispering in the storm for our focus to not be on the circumstances of this world but to be on on Him. He's reminding us that we just have to look to Him for support, comfort, provisions, healing and more because He has us in His hands. 

This day, similar to the day before, had moment of heavy that seemed unbearable but God's light shined on us and blessed us through it all. Our message to the kids, Jesus is the light of the world they could share His light with all those around them was never more apt than when we were there serving the community. His light shined through us as we delivered water filtration systems, food, as we conversed, as we sang and danced, and especially as we lifted those in need to the throne of the Almighty. In those moments, we may have been shining our Jesus lights on those around us, but again the bigger blessing was on the team. For we were receiving light shining brighter on us from the welcoming smiles, the privilege of sharing vulnerabilities, the honor of praying over those in the community and the hugs of all the families and kids as they welcomed us in their lives. 

 

Faith In Hardships

The day starts with a bountiful breakfast, fixed by smiling women and served buffet style. Three mission teams, most wearing their own large smiles, some showing a bit of nerves of the unknown, gather to eat before heading out to serve the surrounding communities. After breakfast, some load on a bus while others wait to hear our paths for the day. 

My daughter and I are part of the nervous ones. Unsure of the plan, but willing to follow. As the morning progresses, we are finally started on our part of the day - home visits where we get to know the families, find out about their faith and church life, and deliver food to aid them with physical needs. Sounded easy enough and I personally really looked forward to meeting the members of the surrounding community. We gathered our day bags filled with items we felt we might need, filled up our water bottles and picked up the food bags for our teams before setting out. First minute in and I knew this was going to be difficult because their hills are no joke and our team was set to start up one. 

As we came upon a rickety gate, made a bit of wood but mostly a sheet of tin, we walk onto a dirt path leading to a small garden area and a smiling woman. Her clothes are worn, house not what we would say was good living conditions in the United States yet her smile and demeanor is warm and welcoming. The conversation is a blend of English and Spanish, with our amazing translator bridging the gap between both cultures, commonalities and differences are laid out as we talk families, faith, and lives. Excitement ensues as she mentions expecting a new granddaughter on this day and honor is bestowed upon us as she allows us to pray over her and her family. We leave feeling uplifted and blessed to make this first connection before trudging up the steep hill for our next home visit. 

Our next home visit is harder physically to get to as we're still adapting to lower oxygen saturation levels, walking up a steep hill before walking at a decline down a rough path to a tin home with a tight fit for our team coming to visit. Sitting on a wooden chair is an 80 year old man and playfully greeting us is his 6 year old daughter. The conversation is hard as we learn he had broken his leg a year or more ago and has been unable to walk. Costs for the needed surgery are too high for him and when the nearby clinic was able to offer a lower cost surgery, the specialized items needed for it were not attainable by the clinic. He counts on his granddaughter's presence to help with chores and picking things in the garden. Yet even amidst his pain and limitations, he has a welcoming smile, he prays to God, he loves his granddaughter and he's still moving forward. He showed amazing faith and even more, amazing perseverance. No complaints, just living life the best way he could and grateful for what he was capable of.

Our next three visits would be similar. Climbing the increasingly steep hill to the next gates, walking the rough paths to homes that our country would not declare acceptable to children and pets, and starting conversations with the purpose of sharing the love of Jesus. The conversations were similar - major physical issues - tumors, diabetes, lung pain, leg pain, and worries for their future - yet they greeted us with welcoming, warm smiles, grateful we were present and happy to receive our meager food offerings. Issues such as transportation and health issues were frequently mentioned on why regular church attendance was not always possible and inability to read were commonplace on why they did not spend time in their Bibles. We empathized, handed over food bags, and prayed as we conversed about their family, faith, church life and prayer requests. 

On the way back down the steep hill that had me rethinking my capability to even breathe, my spirit was heavy with the needs of this community. How could I be a helper here? Why had God called me to this mission field? How would I ever make it through the week without breaking down because the stories were so hard to hear? Returning to camp, I immediately sat down with my Bible and journal, wanting to write down the experiences to reread and pray over and wanting to seek answers from God. Sitting alone, what we had just experienced weighed heavily on my heart. I wanted to go back to every home, hug them all and tell them it'll be okay. Not because of solutions offered by human hands, but because of God. Psalms 34:22 says "The Lord will rescue his servants; no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned." and Ephesians 2:6-7 says "And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.".  The verses bring a peace that I can not give myself. He's with these families and His plans for them are better than any I could even try to make for them. 

So while my human self is stuck on the temporary world we live in with the struggles we all face, God is already here and He already knows what we are struggling through. He's in control and He holds us in His hands. And the perfect example was every family we met - struggling beyond comprehension with worldly needs yet still praying to God regularly and knowing He is their ultimate Provider. 

Growth in the Valleys

 

Arriving in Guatemala was an amazingly good feeling. The few months leading to this much awaited event had been fraught with discouragement - financial, relationships, physical, mental and of course even spiritual. Being attacked on every angle did not leave me in the greatest mind set to have the last 24 hours before arriving being filled with crazy plane issues that led to a Saturday arrival rather than the planned Friday night arrival. But God knew. 

Just like He knew I'd be standing in a valley after we walked out near the volcano to spend some time enjoying the view and seeing first hand the hardened lava of multiple eruptions. Feeling the urge to walk more down the path than where we stopped, I came to a place that reminded me of Psalms 23. The valley wasn't as vast as I picture when I think of David's words, but it was enough to lead me down a path of deep contemplation. 

There I stood, looking out at this small valley, and just seeing all the destruction. Behind me was a bunch of trash, whether left purposely or blown there I do not know, and more black rocky surfaces from past eruptions. My mission team was visible at the top of the hill and yet I stood in this valley feeling so alone. 

But through the destruction and trash, I started noticing some things. New growth. 

Though the ground was utterly destroyed by the hot lava that had flowed out of the volcano and hardened rocks covered the ground, there was still growth. And it reminded me of my past few months; how tested and stretched thin I felt. How I felt as though I was singed on all levels and I had been trying to harden myself against more trials thinking it'd be my only way of coping as I moved forward. 

Then I stood in this small valley, and it hit me so hard that tears filled my eyes and overflowed from my emotions. The reminder that He is with me no matter what I am going through. The reminder that He is growing something new in me, that He is making me holy. That He is growing me to be who He wants me to be. 

Three plane rides - delays, too short of layovers, way too heavy of bags - and all the months up to this point had a purpose. And it was definitely not what I had planned, but it was exactly what He had planned. 

I can not always see why He allows certain things. I get frustrated. I feel discouraged, I feel hopeless as things get harder and harder. Pushing through feels impossible. But God. God is there. God is in control. God knows what His plans are for me. God knew I'd stand in that valley, reflect on His Word, realize the world can harden the heart, it can fill it with trash, it can seem rocky and impossible to deal with but God. He can grow things when I think it's impossible. He knows the path that I can't see in front of me. He sees the impossibility of new life and makes miracles happen. 

So upon our return to the clubhouse/camp we were staying at, I journaled for the first time in forever. I let the emotions flow out, let God's Word flow in and I remembered who I am. I am God's child. And He's got the things I can't see under His control no matter how I feel. He's making me into who I need to be to serve His kingdom. And for that, I am grateful of His love, guidance, wisdom, and protection. 

Glow in the Dark Bracelets

Four glow in the dark bracelets. Four bracelets lighting up the arm of my sweet five year old daughter. Then the drama begins as I innocently suggest she share one, just one, bracelet with her three year old friend. I even go so far to mention that there are nine more in the van awaiting her return, but the pride of ownership and of selfish possession had taken full control and she refused to even contemplate sharing for even a moment.

As we left the church that evening, I spoke to her about sharing with others. How it shows love. How it is kindness. How we share especially when we have so much more. She was intent though, intent on holding on to what she could see on her arm. She was intent on gaining more when we reached the van. "Not all of them mommy. Just to get to seven." As we walked outside into the chilly night and across the darkened parking lot, I was stunned by a revelation. 

I am that five year old. 

I am holding on to the things I can see here in this world, even knowing the abundant blessings that God has ready for me. Blessings greater than anything I have here on this temporary world. 

I am not the only one holding on though. The saddest ones holding on are ones who are not even saved. They know God is real. They know Jesus is real. Yet they will tell you that they are not ready to commit to God. They are not ready to accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour. They want to become better before they go to Jesus. They want to get their lives straight. 

I have heard all the excuses and each time my heart breaks for them. They are so busy holding on to what is temporary, what they can see in this world, to accept what God is offering to them. They have the logic to understand there is something greater, their hearts have been prompted by the Holy Spirit yet they keep holding on to this world. 

We as Christians do it too. We hold on to our hurts. Our selfish desires. Our possessions. Our money. Our time. Oh, how we hang on to our time. We know God. We seek God on Sundays, maybe even on Wednesday evenings. Yet when He calls to us Monday through Saturday, we are too busy holding on to other things. Our priorities are just greater in our minds. We have our excuses too. Family. Work. Hobbies. It does not give us peace. It would overwhelm us. No time in our schedules. 

The thing we forget is that when God calls us for something, everything else fades away. He calls us to His glory, not ours. He provides His peace. Our priorities will be fixed to meet His goals. But first we have to let go. Let go of our selfish desires and wants in our lives. Let go of the priorities we think are important to our family. Let go of our hurts and let Him heal us. Go to Him more than just one or maybe two days a week. We know theses things. We know His plans are so much better than ours. We know everything works to His glory. If we know, why are we still holding on?

We are all like five year olds, holding on to our glow in the dark bracelets. Even though we know our Father has more than we will ever need waiting on us. 

Momlife Bootcamp Part 3

It's the final day of bootcamp. I have been covered in God's blessings. I have met other moms struggling in similar areas as I do, I have burst into tears as I face the changes God has allowed in my life and admitted my doubts in myself and God has covered me in His love and reminded me of who I am in Him using MomLife speakers, staff and guests.

Barbara Rainey is up to speak today. She is covering the topic "The Woman God Created Me to Be". I already know it is going to be amazing!

The first thing Barbara does is puts forth four questions: Who does God want me to become? What does God want me to become? What does God want from me? How do I become that woman? My answers: I dunno (shoulder shrug and dumbfounded expression and all).

Who does God want me to become? Well, Barbara does this ingenious thing - she opens up the Bible. (Wow, why didn't I think of that?) I need to grow and become holy - like Jesus. What does God want me to become? God wants me to become unique, like no other woman, looking to Him and not comparing myself to women around me. What does God want from me? I am to be women of courageous faith. It always requires courage to follow Jesus. How do I become the woman God wants me to be? By walking in the Spirit. The Bible is the most important book I have andI need to breathe, eat, and drink His Word. Listen to the spirit and imitate God.

Also, remember - I am no to be the Spirit to my husband or children. I need to pray that my husband and children will listen to the voice of the Spirit. I need to pray for the Spirit to help me and not harden my heart towards Him. Repentance and listening to the Spirit is a constant process.


The session has ended and women are standing up taking turns sharing how they were blessed this weekend. One mom struggles with special needs child. Another mom struggles with feeling worthy of her children. A mom shares her daughter's struggle with cutting and the impact it has had on her. Another mom shares she used to be a cutter. A mom shares her husband's letter of encouragement he gave her before she left. Between struggles and praises we all came for this weekend. Everyone who shared ended with the same thing - God was here, we were blessed and God is doing great things.


It is now Sunday evening. I left here Friday just to check off something on my to do list. I returned today reminded of who I am in Christ, who I am to my children and husband, and what I need to be as a mom. I am intent that life is not going to distract me from my greater purpose - Being the mom God created me to be.

Bible references: 1 Peter; Eph 2:10, 1:5; Phil 2:13; Heb 12:2; End of John (Peter and Jesus); Eph 5:1; Rom 12:1

MomLife Bootcamp Part 2

On each chair there is a personality quiz when we go to sit down for lunch. It is a simple enough quiz where we choose one of four words that apply to us row by row. At the end, we count up our marks in each column and total them by each color - Orange, Green, Pink and Blue. I end up with blue. 

The next session we walk into is led by Susan Merrill. She starts by telling us what the different colors mean. Pink is the perfect mom - the one whose home is always prepared for company. She's deep, thoughtful, creative, purposeful, self sacrificing. As a mom, she sets high standards,  sees the problems and finds solutions, sacrifices her own will for others and encourages scholarship and talent. An example of a pink mom in the Bible is Hannah (1 Sam 1:10,24,26) Oh how I was wishing I was a pink mom. 

The next color she talks about is orange - the popular mom. She's talkative, good sense of humor, life of the party, enthusiastic. As a mom, she is liked by her children's friends, turns disaster into humor,  is a circus master. She gives Mary (Luke 10:39, John 12) as an example of a popular mom in the Bible. Oh, why or why did I not get orange? 

Then Susan starts talking about the green mom - the powerful mom. Yep, I am already wanting to be a green mom - who wouldn't want to be powerful? The powerful mom is a born leader, strong willed, decisive, not easily discouraged, can run anything. As a mom, she establishes goals, motivates her family to action, knows the right answer, delegates work. Abigail (1 Sam 25:14) is given as an example of a powerful mom. I really, really, really want to be a green mom. 

Now here it comes. The blue mom. It gets a title that just makes me cringe. The peaceful mom. Tell you what, I was not feeling peaceful right then. The peaceful mom is relaxed, patient, all-purpose, keeps emotions hidden. As a mom, the peaceful mom is not in a hurry, takes time for the children, doesn't get upset easily, good under pressure. Then Susan blows me away. Mary, mother of Jesus, (Luke 1:27) is who she sees as a peaceful mom. Wow. I'm a blue mom...and I love it! 

The whole point of this exercise was not to be envious of the other colored moms, but to know that we are God's choice of moms for our children. He picks each mom and child combination and we need to be passionate moms. Susan uses Nehemiah as a great example of being a passionate person. Just as Nehemiah protected God's children, we need to protect our children. When there was a problem, Nehemiah perceived (1:2-3), pondered (1:4) and prayed because he had a purpose. We need to do the same. We need to take time to talk to our children - ask questions and listen to them. We need a purpose for our children. We also need to have passion AND joy as moms - the ultimate challenge. How can we win other moms to Christ if we don't find joy in being a mom? We need to find meaning, joy and purpose in being the mom we are because that is what being a mom is about. 

http://www.susanme.com/passionatemom/

MomLife Bootcamp 2014 Part 1

It's 5:45 on Friday evening and I am sitting in a parking lot listening to my van get bombarded by rain and hail. I am on my way to Momlife Bootcamp for the second year in a row looking forward to being blessed by the Lord yet not really wanting to be away from my family. Praise music is blaring in my sad attempt to prepare my mind and spirit for what is to come. The rain finally lifts enough that I can see more than 2 feet and I continue on my journey. A journey that is not going to go the way I think it will. A journey that is going to have an ending I never saw coming. A journey that is going to change my view of myself. Once again.

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Did you have dreams as a child of what you were going to be when you grew up? I was going to be a child psychologist who owned a book store above my office. That way I could help children from dysfunctional families and read all the books I could get in my hands. Needless to say, that dream has not come true.

God blessed me with a different dream. A dream with a handsome funny prince and a beautiful precious princess. A dream of two arrows to sharpen and send out into a world of chaos. Arrows in the hands of a warrior.

Our first session started off by having us think back to the children we used to be and to think upon how our past affects our present. It reminded us of how God sees children and how great is love is for us. We were given little flashlights as a reminder to shine our lights all around and not to let anything - not our past, our present, others or anything else block the light we have in us. The next session was a question panel and wise women took the time to remind us of the importance of lifting up our husbands and keeping good attitudes in all we do and say. We need to constantly choose joy in everything.

I was so excited this year that MomLife set up more breakout sessions! I chose to attend Dancing in Marriage with Barbara Rainey and Sharing Your Beautiful Mess with Tracy Eyster.

Barbara was so inspiring as she reminded us that God works in His own timing, towards His own purposes and has a greater vision for us and for our marriages than we could ever possibly dream. She reminded us that we need to focus on our parts in marriage which are loving, following and helping our husbands (Ephesians). Trusting our husbands, knowing our husbands, not comparing our husbands (or ourselves) to others and following our husbands leads make the most beautiful dance.

Tracy, who I have to admit I love and adore so much, spoke about how we started off walking with God in the garden of Eden and we had peace and tranquility. She went on to talk about how the deceiver shattered that peace by putting doubt in Eve's mind about God's plan. In this same way, the deceiver puts doubt in our minds that shatter the peace in our homes. He makes us doubt if we are the right moms for our children, the right wives for our husbands and our own value and worth. She continued on to remind us that when we do something wrong, don't listen to the deceiver and move away from God. Lean in closer to God because He has already leaned in closer to us and loves us so much.

Tracy continued to talk about how the deceiver tells us that we need to "do" more to be a better mom. NOT TRUE!!! We don't need to do more - we need to BE THE MOM. Be intentional in our roles as mom carving our arrows using the sword provided, the Word of God. Be relational with our children, spending time doing what they like to do and building relational equity with our kids. Be selfless and practice selflessness, not as a martyr but take time for our kids even in the midst of doing something else. Be ourselves for them. Do less, be more.

http://www.lifeway.com/Product/be-the-mom-P005507991