When People Fall Short

Expectations placed upon other people are not always achievable. We want the perfect relationships. The invite to lunch. The call just to say hello. The understanding and empathy. The lack of judgment. But unfortunately we do not always get it. And sometimes, others hurt us whether knowingly or not. 

Adults who grew up traumatic childhoods learned early how to read a room. They see the slightly curled up nose of aggravation. They recognize the noncommittal tones behind the smile. They observe the connections or other people. They are quick to recognize distaste, annoyance and dislike. They try too hard to make connections and do not understand how they go wrong when they do not work out. Until God puts the people in their lives for those connections to happen. But it is not always an easy path. Most times it is one fraught with difficulty, confusion and emotional pain. And it is not an uncommon issue, else we would not have common phrases exuding gladness of finding our tribes or ones reminding us we can not be everyone’s choice sauce. 

The lunch plans discussed without the invite to join in while standing right there. The passive aggressive remarks of judgment in a Bible study group. The gossip behind the back. The social media posts that raises feelings of being left out. The pretend busyness or lack of noticing to say hello in the hall. The one sitting at the table that would rather use their phone to connect to someone not in the room rather than the one right next to them. The list goes on. 

Humans are not perfect. Most times we are so full of our own plans, problems, thoughts, and worries that we do not notice those around us looking for friendship and connection. The world is full of people so focused on their own lives they are missing connections right in front of them. So where does that leave those seeking connections? They do the right things. Smiling, making eye contact, trying small talk - yet failure repeatedly occurs. They lose confidence- in themselves. In others. Or, dare I say, in church. 

People do not become perfect when they become saved by Jesus. They do not become perfect when they walk through the doorways of church buildings. And unfortunately, being saved or even in the same church does not automatically mean connections will be made. There will still be difficulties. There will still be confusion. There will still be emotional pain. So why keep trying? 

Because of God. In the beginning of time, after creating our world, He made people. But He did not just leave them to their own lives. He created purpose, connection and joy by giving them each other and by being there Himself. Imagine, how amazing it had to been to walk in the garden with God. To have those moments in the cool of the day, spending time strolling together. 

Yet sin came into play, ruining the perfection of such a relationship and creating strife we still face today. And all of us sin. All of us have pain. And all of us cause pain. So do not fret when the passive aggressive behavior hits hard. Do not give up when the invites do not come. Let go the angst and confusion of lack of connections. Remember, God is always there. He knows you. He loves you. He is there and available for you to always seek in prayer. He knows the people you need in your life. Be it for a short or long season, His plans never fail. And keep trying to make those connections. Smile. Make the corny joke. Try too hard and look silly. Because in the end, it shows your love for others and that is always worth the effort.