Praying When on Empty

Another rough day in the house. Kids yelling and screaming - at each other, at you, at anything that catches their attention. The house is a disaster. Rooms you have been in a dozen times still manage to not get any cleaner. Husband comes home in a bad mood - work stressing him. Again. Dinner is late to the table and all that is spoken are complaints about the food being served. Bath time is filled with chaos and getting everyone to bed is never an easy task on a good day. But finally, there is quiet. And in the quiet, you sit at the table, on the couch or maybe in bed. Your devotional for the time is close at hand along with your Bible, pens, notebooks and other needed items for this time. You breathe deep, inhaling to full lung capacity, exhaling fully. Your face turns toward the ceiling as you strive to relax. Next breath in, you begin. 

“Dear God”. Then nothing. Nothing comes to mind. Not a single word, thought or fully formed emotion is in place. Exhaustion has sunk into your very essence and you can not even think enough to speak to God. Eyes still closed, you lay your forehead on folded hands, trying so hard to think of one thing to say yet all that keeps repeating is “Dear God”. 

You long for a closeness to God. You wonder how other moms do it and why you cannot. You struggle with the to do list of faith - praying, reading your Bible, listening for God, serving and more. Advice from through the years runs in your head, constantly pushing for you to try harder, to be better, to do more. But it all leads to one point, where all you feel is one thing. 

Empty. 

Where is the overwhelming joy? The peace? The contentment? The promises? Why? Why the emptiness? Why can’t we do better, be better? And the answer is both simple and difficult. 

You are not enough. 

You are not enough for your kids. For your husband. For your household. For even yourself. 

God is enough. 

Psalms 55:22a says “Cast your burdens upon the Lord and He will sustain you.” In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

We cannot do it alone. We cannot be the perfect wife, mom, homemaker, friend or any other title. We are not sufficient. God is sufficient though. 

So next time you are crying out to God, feeling so empty that words will not come out, remember it is okay. He knows. He is with you. And He has you. 

And by the way, it is okay to refresh yourself by taking moments to step away from the house and kids. Take them to the park, and bring a sweet tea and a heart open to God’s creation. Or take a mom time out with a call to a friend. Impulsively blare the music and dance like no one is watching. Take bubble baths. Make baking memories - even messy ones. Go on scenic drives. All ways to reset yourself and your kids. We were not commanded to be everything to everyone. Keeping the house perfect, having dinner on the table on time, folding all the laundry every day - not things I have seen in my Bible. So make time to not worry on such things. Just love God, and love people. He will help replenish you so you can get to the rest in due time.