Light of the World

The second morning of delivering food bags for our team was vastly different than the first. There was no steep hill making us all question our fitness levels and ability to breathe. Stories from the families we visited were a bit more uplifting though still had moments of hardship. Homes were a bit more put together with some even having concrete floors. One home was particularly inspirational. I could say it was because of the pride the young woman had in her husband's craftsmanship of their new home extension moving her from her in-laws home to right behind it in their own area. Or I could say it was the giggling kids that three of our team members got caught up in playing with giggles of their own. But really the most uplifting and biggest blessing was a wall area written on by one of her sons. The afternoon before our visit to this home we had our first VBS session. The lesson was on Jesus being the light of the world and how we can share His light with those around us. The Bible verse was John 8:12 where Jesus says "I am the light of the world. Anyone who follows Me will never walk in the darkness but will have the light of life." And there on the wall, written in Spanish was a message about the eternal light illuminating the world. Now whether he wrote this before or after attending VBS I am not sure but what we saw was evidence of God moving in the hearts of those we were loving on and that was inspiring to us. 

After delivering four food bags and a water filtration system to families, things were relaxed as our teams conversed, relaxed and reflected upon our morning. Entering the gate comes a young man who is introduced as being the grandson of one of our deliveries. He hugs us all upon arrival and very happy to just converse hang out with us. 

Then the conversation gets heavy. He imparts so many worries he has on his 17 year old heart. Worries for his future. Worries for his family. Worries over a friend. So much heaviness. Emotions run high and support is given in the form of large hugs and major prayers. It was a hard thing to witness, a heaviness on such a young soul and knowing the only thing we could bring to comfort was prayer. 

But God was there in that moment. God knew who would be there. God knew there would be support for that young man. God knew and still knows exactly what he needs. Because God is in the pain and worries. He's whispering in the storm for our focus to not be on the circumstances of this world but to be on on Him. He's reminding us that we just have to look to Him for support, comfort, provisions, healing and more because He has us in His hands. 

This day, similar to the day before, had moment of heavy that seemed unbearable but God's light shined on us and blessed us through it all. Our message to the kids, Jesus is the light of the world they could share His light with all those around them was never more apt than when we were there serving the community. His light shined through us as we delivered water filtration systems, food, as we conversed, as we sang and danced, and especially as we lifted those in need to the throne of the Almighty. In those moments, we may have been shining our Jesus lights on those around us, but again the bigger blessing was on the team. For we were receiving light shining brighter on us from the welcoming smiles, the privilege of sharing vulnerabilities, the honor of praying over those in the community and the hugs of all the families and kids as they welcomed us in their lives. 

 

Faith In Hardships

The day starts with a bountiful breakfast, fixed by smiling women and served buffet style. Three mission teams, most wearing their own large smiles, some showing a bit of nerves of the unknown, gather to eat before heading out to serve the surrounding communities. After breakfast, some load on a bus while others wait to hear our paths for the day. 

My daughter and I are part of the nervous ones. Unsure of the plan, but willing to follow. As the morning progresses, we are finally started on our part of the day - home visits where we get to know the families, find out about their faith and church life, and deliver food to aid them with physical needs. Sounded easy enough and I personally really looked forward to meeting the members of the surrounding community. We gathered our day bags filled with items we felt we might need, filled up our water bottles and picked up the food bags for our teams before setting out. First minute in and I knew this was going to be difficult because their hills are no joke and our team was set to start up one. 

As we came upon a rickety gate, made a bit of wood but mostly a sheet of tin, we walk onto a dirt path leading to a small garden area and a smiling woman. Her clothes are worn, house not what we would say was good living conditions in the United States yet her smile and demeanor is warm and welcoming. The conversation is a blend of English and Spanish, with our amazing translator bridging the gap between both cultures, commonalities and differences are laid out as we talk families, faith, and lives. Excitement ensues as she mentions expecting a new granddaughter on this day and honor is bestowed upon us as she allows us to pray over her and her family. We leave feeling uplifted and blessed to make this first connection before trudging up the steep hill for our next home visit. 

Our next home visit is harder physically to get to as we're still adapting to lower oxygen saturation levels, walking up a steep hill before walking at a decline down a rough path to a tin home with a tight fit for our team coming to visit. Sitting on a wooden chair is an 80 year old man and playfully greeting us is his 6 year old daughter. The conversation is hard as we learn he had broken his leg a year or more ago and has been unable to walk. Costs for the needed surgery are too high for him and when the nearby clinic was able to offer a lower cost surgery, the specialized items needed for it were not attainable by the clinic. He counts on his granddaughter's presence to help with chores and picking things in the garden. Yet even amidst his pain and limitations, he has a welcoming smile, he prays to God, he loves his granddaughter and he's still moving forward. He showed amazing faith and even more, amazing perseverance. No complaints, just living life the best way he could and grateful for what he was capable of.

Our next three visits would be similar. Climbing the increasingly steep hill to the next gates, walking the rough paths to homes that our country would not declare acceptable to children and pets, and starting conversations with the purpose of sharing the love of Jesus. The conversations were similar - major physical issues - tumors, diabetes, lung pain, leg pain, and worries for their future - yet they greeted us with welcoming, warm smiles, grateful we were present and happy to receive our meager food offerings. Issues such as transportation and health issues were frequently mentioned on why regular church attendance was not always possible and inability to read were commonplace on why they did not spend time in their Bibles. We empathized, handed over food bags, and prayed as we conversed about their family, faith, church life and prayer requests. 

On the way back down the steep hill that had me rethinking my capability to even breathe, my spirit was heavy with the needs of this community. How could I be a helper here? Why had God called me to this mission field? How would I ever make it through the week without breaking down because the stories were so hard to hear? Returning to camp, I immediately sat down with my Bible and journal, wanting to write down the experiences to reread and pray over and wanting to seek answers from God. Sitting alone, what we had just experienced weighed heavily on my heart. I wanted to go back to every home, hug them all and tell them it'll be okay. Not because of solutions offered by human hands, but because of God. Psalms 34:22 says "The Lord will rescue his servants; no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned." and Ephesians 2:6-7 says "And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.".  The verses bring a peace that I can not give myself. He's with these families and His plans for them are better than any I could even try to make for them. 

So while my human self is stuck on the temporary world we live in with the struggles we all face, God is already here and He already knows what we are struggling through. He's in control and He holds us in His hands. And the perfect example was every family we met - struggling beyond comprehension with worldly needs yet still praying to God regularly and knowing He is their ultimate Provider. 

Growth in the Valleys

 

Arriving in Guatemala was an amazingly good feeling. The few months leading to this much awaited event had been fraught with discouragement - financial, relationships, physical, mental and of course even spiritual. Being attacked on every angle did not leave me in the greatest mind set to have the last 24 hours before arriving being filled with crazy plane issues that led to a Saturday arrival rather than the planned Friday night arrival. But God knew. 

Just like He knew I'd be standing in a valley after we walked out near the volcano to spend some time enjoying the view and seeing first hand the hardened lava of multiple eruptions. Feeling the urge to walk more down the path than where we stopped, I came to a place that reminded me of Psalms 23. The valley wasn't as vast as I picture when I think of David's words, but it was enough to lead me down a path of deep contemplation. 

There I stood, looking out at this small valley, and just seeing all the destruction. Behind me was a bunch of trash, whether left purposely or blown there I do not know, and more black rocky surfaces from past eruptions. My mission team was visible at the top of the hill and yet I stood in this valley feeling so alone. 

But through the destruction and trash, I started noticing some things. New growth. 

Though the ground was utterly destroyed by the hot lava that had flowed out of the volcano and hardened rocks covered the ground, there was still growth. And it reminded me of my past few months; how tested and stretched thin I felt. How I felt as though I was singed on all levels and I had been trying to harden myself against more trials thinking it'd be my only way of coping as I moved forward. 

Then I stood in this small valley, and it hit me so hard that tears filled my eyes and overflowed from my emotions. The reminder that He is with me no matter what I am going through. The reminder that He is growing something new in me, that He is making me holy. That He is growing me to be who He wants me to be. 

Three plane rides - delays, too short of layovers, way too heavy of bags - and all the months up to this point had a purpose. And it was definitely not what I had planned, but it was exactly what He had planned. 

I can not always see why He allows certain things. I get frustrated. I feel discouraged, I feel hopeless as things get harder and harder. Pushing through feels impossible. But God. God is there. God is in control. God knows what His plans are for me. God knew I'd stand in that valley, reflect on His Word, realize the world can harden the heart, it can fill it with trash, it can seem rocky and impossible to deal with but God. He can grow things when I think it's impossible. He knows the path that I can't see in front of me. He sees the impossibility of new life and makes miracles happen. 

So upon our return to the clubhouse/camp we were staying at, I journaled for the first time in forever. I let the emotions flow out, let God's Word flow in and I remembered who I am. I am God's child. And He's got the things I can't see under His control no matter how I feel. He's making me into who I need to be to serve His kingdom. And for that, I am grateful of His love, guidance, wisdom, and protection.