Barking At Turtles - Breakout session with Jennifer Dyer

During MomLife Bootcamp we had a breakout session where we were able to choose a topic to attend. I chose Jennifer Dyer's Barking at Turtles. Now the turtle story is all hers to tell, but basically this was about the distractions that come along in a Mom's life and can keep us from experiencing a life of grace and peace. She called each of these things 'turtles' but I'm not that big on turtles so I'm just going to write about them full out.

The first she mentioned were trials. In James, it is said to take joy in our trials because they produce perseverance. Jennifer gave us a few reasons to take joy in the midst of trials. The first reason is because Jesus always comes to those who need him the most. The second reason is because suffering produces longing for eternity, our true home. Another reason is when we go through trials we catch a glimpse of how much Jesus did for us. And last, trials can bring out the best in us and we can thank God for trusting us to endure the trials.

The next distraction she mentioned was guilt - especially guilt that will not let go or that we don't let go.  The first thing we need to do is admit that we have failures. In admitting we are not perfect, we can't feel guilty for when we make mistakes, right? When we admit we have failures, we understand our need for Jesus, our hearts are able to bloom in his light, we are open to receive and understand his race, we can pass his grace onto others and we can be a light shining in darkness. Without our failures and without being poor in spirit we would not understand how much we need Him. We need to let go of our guilt and remember that there is no condemnation in Christ. (Romans 8:1-2)

Fear and failure can also be major distractions. To overcome this we need to turn to God's Word and remember "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." (Romans 3:23-24)  John 16:33 says "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome this world." We are not in charge or control of this world. God is.

Never ending messes are next on the list. We need to remember that messes are temporary and keep an eternal prospective so that they don't drag us down. "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18 Jennifer reminded us that there are no bonus points in heaven for dying with a perfect house. Thank goodness in my case!

We need to also remember to seek first the kingdom of God and avoid being distracted by busyness and stress. Matthew 6:33 tells us "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you." We need to avoid 'doing' things that get in the way of our relationships with God and with our family. Being stressed out with all that we are trying to do and accomplish and not nurturing those relationships is not our purpose here on earth. 

The questions we need to ask ourselves is "what is our primary purpose as a mom?" and "what are our families' goals?". Jennifer recommended we look at our family schedules and consider everything we do in a day, even including changing diapers and carpooling. She suggested we ask ourselves what does not fit in our purpose as moms or does not help meet our family goals. Then she suggested we filter these activities through those ideas. Do not allow guild to force you to say yes because life is full of seasons. We need to enjoy the one in which we live.

Hope this all makes sense and you enjoyed hearing about my bootcamp weekend! This wraps up that weekend but I am looking forward to attending Momlife Bootcamp again in March 2014!

Living the Mom Life - Part of Day 2 and Day 3

I am putting part of day 2 in with day 3 because they involve the same speaker, Barbara Rainey. Saturday evening Barbara showed us part of her Ever Thine Home collection. Her goal in doing this collection is to aid us in making our homes a place of refuge and peace for our families but more importantly helping us surround our families in God's Word. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 states:

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

After giving this verse and others, she then asked a question I would have rather never heard. "What does your home say about you?" 

HA! What does my home say about me? Toys clutter up my living room, hall, both kids bedrooms and sometimes even the kitchen. My master bedroom is continually overwhelmed with so much stuff my husband bumps into it and gives me the "I'm so tired of this mess" sigh. My laundry stays piled in baskets or on the dresser after being washed rather than folded and put away. My master bath is a total wreck we won't even get into. Most of my decorations and pictures are in boxes in the garage. There is a major lack of storage in most of the rooms. Hands down, my house says I am either too busy or too lazy to maintain it, we have way too much stuff and not enough places to put it and we're just lucky the thing is still standing. There is no way my home is a refuge of peace for my family. The two kiddos maybe, but not for me or my husband. After listening to her, I definitely know I need to make more of an effort in making my home a refuge of peace and that is in the works even as I type. 

Sunday Barbara spoke to us being intentionally involved with our kids and intentionally involved in God's Word. She spoke of the Holy Spirit. Reminding us that the Holy Spirit was sent to be our Helper (John 14:16) and guide us. Jesus designed the relationship with the Holy Spirit to be very personal because the world is a dangerous place, marriage and being a mom are dangerous jobs and we need a guide. Jesus promises that the Holy Spirit will be with us forever and will always be within us. He will teach us all we need to know and remind us of Jesus's teachings and words (John 14:25

Then Barbara did it again and said something I would have rather avoided. "If you are not studying God's Word, then you can not teach it to your kids. You can not remember something you do not know." Ouch. I definitely did not want this reminder that I needed to spend more time in God's Word so that when times crop up that my children ask or need it, I can provide it. 

Barbara sent a reminder out to all of us women. God has given us our children to raise. We have two jobs he has blessed us with: being a wife and being a mom. God knows what he is doing and we need to have faith that he does and remember it is his business not ours. We are so prone to looking outwardly for guidance and answers when the answers lie in God's Word and the Holy Spirit that dwells within. The only way we are going to know what God wants us to do with our lives is to listen and follow the Holy Spirit. In making choices, we know the Holy Spirit will never lead us against scripture and God's will. We need to ask the Holy Spirit to guide us, speak to us and lead us. He is here with us to help us follow Jesus's teachings and I am so glad he is! 

Living the Mom Life - Day 2 of Bootcamp

On this day, Saturday April 13th, I woke early and went down to the lake to see the sun rise. I didn't stay long enough for the sun to rise because it was freezing and dark. I figured I didn't need to be one of those dummies you see on horror films out alone, in the dark out in the woods at camp so I headed back in.

Before I returned to my bunk, I got to spend time praying, admiring God's miraculous work in a star filled sky and just meditating on what my life as a mom means. It was one of the best mornings I have had in a long time. Serenity filled my soul and mind. I was unafraid, rejuvenated and felt covered in God's love. I need more mornings like that.

That day the Mom Life crew's devotional asked us to describe God in as many words as we could and also to write down actions he has done in history and my life. He is just everything and all that is in my life that is good, pure and just has come from him. He has blessed me in so many ways.

After breakfast we joined a session with Dannah Gresh, author of "And the Bride Wore White". She spoke on what children need to become pure, holy adults and ways to live above culture. Dannah spoke two different words used to mean "To know" in the Bible. She spoke of Yada (spelling probably not right) which means to know, to be known, to be deeply respected. An example she gave of this word is in Psalm 46:10 Be still and know (yada) that I am God. The other word she spoke of is Sakab (also probably misspelled). Sakab means to exchange body fluids or the mechanics of sex without emotion. An example of the usage of this word is in Genesis 19 with Lot and his daughters. Yada is what should be in place in our relationship with God and in our marriages. The importance of friendship, deep respect and truly knowing our spouses should not be ignored.

There are two things that Dannah said was the most important things we should want for our children. The first is to love Jesus with all their hearts, souls and minds. The second is for them to marry well.  These are my prayers for my kids. I pray for their salvation and a deep relationship with Jesus but I also pray for their future spouses to also have a deep devotion to Christ.

As Dannah continued, she reminded us how important every decision we make in our children's lives are. Every decision matters and every decision builds. For example, when we give toys to our children to play with they are practicing for the future. Dolls dressed inappropriately can make a lasting impression on our kids and leave them seeking those types of clothing in their future. She also spoke of the importance of God's healing for ourselves. We can not raise sexually pure and whole children if we are not whole ourselves.

After we finished our morning session, we had free time which included things like riding horse back, volleyball, zip lining and arts and crafts that afternoon. It was a lot of fun and relaxing. :)

Living the Mom Life - Day 1 of Bootcamp

The weekend of April 14th, I joined my friend Kristen and went to MomLife bootcamp at  Pine Cove in Tyler, TX. I arrived Friday evening excited but also tired and worn down just from my daily activities. After I checked in, I started on the short devotional they had put together for us. The questions to answer on that day were about my fears for my family, children and for myself. Of course I did not want to answer because that would be admitting that I am not letting God handle my fears but truthfully I am not good at letting go of my fears and letting God have control of my life. Yep, I've admitted it.

I fear messing up my marriage. I fear becoming an addict like so many in my family. I fear my children not finding Christ and messing up their lives with addictions or not finding peace in Christ and instead search for it through worldly gains. I fear not being a Godly woman, wife, mom and example.

Now I would love to say after one weekend of bootcamp all those fears went poof into thin air. In reality, I was just reminded that I am not the only one who has these fears and struggles. There are moms who every day get up and look at themselves in the mirror and worry over ruining their children. Tracey Eyster, author of Be the Mom, spoke about the tug of war between doubt and doing more. She spoke of doubts such as "I am 'just' a mom" and how we as women and especially stay at home moms doubt our value in this world. She went on to say that to make up for those doubts we start 'doing' more. More activities such as spending more time cleaning our house, volunteering, saying yes to everything that comes along, etc. Pretty soon we are 'doing' so much we are not 'being' what we are supposed to be. Moms. Our children are not receiving the best of us and get the us when we are tired, cranky and worn down which means we are usually snapping at them and giving them the worst of us.

One of my favorite things she said was "If the enemy can pressure, pull and distract you away from fulfilling your God gifted role as mom, he robs children of the one thing they can not get from anyone or anywhere else." Wow. So yes, I am JUST a mom, but I am given the job by God to give my kids my love and attention. I am given the task of just BEING with my kids, not doing this, that and the other. I need to stop thinking in a Martha sort of way and start being like Mary spending time with God and my kids, showing my kids the importance of family love and time together and just Be The Mom.

The task Tracey ended with was for us to make a "To Be" list rather than a "To Do" list. List the ways we can just be with our kids. When I arrived home Sunday evening, I danced with my children, blew bubbles and cuddled. The bags didn't get unpacked, the blog didn't get written and the dishes stayed in the sink. That's okay, they were all there on Monday waiting on me.