Ever felt crushed by the world around you? I know I have. There have been times I have felt completely annihilated to the point it hurt to breathe. I know we have all been there at one time or another, whether its through the loss of loved ones, loss of jobs and financial struggles, or just the battle of making it through the day without drama, depression, or sometimes even a substance crutch. In one way or another, we have felt crushed.
Today, my heart was lead to read Jeremiah 18:4
"But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped,
so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over." NLT
God is the potter. He is the only one who can allow the world around us to crush us. When He allows such things, it's to make us a better vessel. On March 2, 1998, after my grandmother's passing, I felt as though my heart was crushed entirely, my lungs unable to take full breaths, and my mind unable to even process a single thought. For a little over a year, I made bad decisions one after another. I threw away values and morals I had upheld for years as if they no longer mattered. Worse of all, I turned away from God in my time of pain, refusing to allow Him to help me and spurning those who would dare suggest I do otherwise.
When I finally started to turn my life back around, I still continued to be apathetic towards God. I was not purposely turning my back against Him, I just was not running towards Him either. Still, He continued to be with me. I have always known that. I knew that the entire time I lived in my crushed state. When I finally started praying again, and asking for His hand to be in my life, my entire world changed. I no longer felt crushed. I no longer struggled with my shame over the mistakes I made after my grandmother's passing. I began to take shape into a new vessel. A better vessel.
I am not by any means perfect. I know God is continually working on me to become an better vessel tomorrow than I am today. He will always be working on me. I know I will be crushed at times. I also know He knows what is best for me, and will always have His hands around me to help keep me malleable, stable, and protected.
"But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed
say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’” Does not the
potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for
special purposes and some for common use?"
Romans 9:20-21 NLT
